Thursday, November 19, 2015

The Story of My Life Now

Assalamualaikum and a very good morning guys.

        How long has it been now? Three months since my last post? I don't know why but suddenly I have the urge to put an update about my current life now. So, since the last three months, a lot of things have happened. Now, I am currently a university student, pursuing my studies in chemical engineeering in Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. Not what I imagined my life would turn out to be. So far, things have been hectic. I've never thought the life of a chemical engineering student would be like this. It was pure hell, I tell you. No one ever mention that my life would turn out like this. However, it was my decision that had led me into this famous university.

Sometimes I want to quit so bad but I can't. My parents have invested so much in me. I can't let them down. That is all that hold me together right now. I have to be strong not just for myself but for them. I think that is all I could talk for today. I need to do my reflection journal, an assignment. See you later, dear reader. Talk to you soon.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Troubled Heart

Guys, my father won't talk to me. I wanna cry so bad. Why??? He disagreed with my decision to go to UTM. I don't want to enter UM. I seriously don't want to. And yet...

         I can't do anything. What should I do? I am trying to keep a straight face here. Inside, I'm bleeding. Should I end it here? I need to keep going. I have to. I have to prove them wrong. It's the only way to get rid of this sick feeling that I have.

          So hereby, I solemnly promise. I will graduate excellently. I will go through these four years of study with flying colours. I will get a job that can provide me and my family comfortably. I will make them pay for doubting me and my choice. I'll prove to them that they are absolutely wrong!

           I will start everything fresh and green. No more playing around. No more fun (okay, a little bit of fun), especially when the exam is around the corner. This time, I will work so hard. So hard that I have never been in my life. This time, I will become successful. Just watch me do it!

Don't tempt the lioness,


Monday, August 17, 2015


It's actually a little late for this post but a week ago, the university result came out. At the end of the day, I got two offers from two different universities. UM and UTM. My decision is very simple. Stick to the best university in engineering. I chose UTM. I always had a thing with this particular university. Although, I have to admit that UM has a better reputation as it is the number one university in Malaysia, I always believe that it is your effort that represents your result. Not the institution. Well, not fully of course. I did consider the facilities.

            That is, unfortunately, what I want to talk about today. It's about my decision and my family's reaction. Oh god, I am so devastated over what happened today. Needless to say this, my family didn't agree with what I chose. I don't like feeling this. I feel so wronged. All my life, I did it to satisfy them. But when this happened. I feel like I failed in life. I didn't reveal to them that I feel sorry that I didn't meet to their expectation because I am ashamed of myself. So ashamed. I failed them as a daughter.

             For now, all I can do is to prove to them that they are wrong. I will fix this. I'll prove them wrong. Mark my words.