Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Troubled Heart

Guys, my father won't talk to me. I wanna cry so bad. Why??? He disagreed with my decision to go to UTM. I don't want to enter UM. I seriously don't want to. And yet...

         I can't do anything. What should I do? I am trying to keep a straight face here. Inside, I'm bleeding. Should I end it here? I need to keep going. I have to. I have to prove them wrong. It's the only way to get rid of this sick feeling that I have.

          So hereby, I solemnly promise. I will graduate excellently. I will go through these four years of study with flying colours. I will get a job that can provide me and my family comfortably. I will make them pay for doubting me and my choice. I'll prove to them that they are absolutely wrong!

           I will start everything fresh and green. No more playing around. No more fun (okay, a little bit of fun), especially when the exam is around the corner. This time, I will work so hard. So hard that I have never been in my life. This time, I will become successful. Just watch me do it!

Don't tempt the lioness,


Monday, August 17, 2015


It's actually a little late for this post but a week ago, the university result came out. At the end of the day, I got two offers from two different universities. UM and UTM. My decision is very simple. Stick to the best university in engineering. I chose UTM. I always had a thing with this particular university. Although, I have to admit that UM has a better reputation as it is the number one university in Malaysia, I always believe that it is your effort that represents your result. Not the institution. Well, not fully of course. I did consider the facilities.

            That is, unfortunately, what I want to talk about today. It's about my decision and my family's reaction. Oh god, I am so devastated over what happened today. Needless to say this, my family didn't agree with what I chose. I don't like feeling this. I feel so wronged. All my life, I did it to satisfy them. But when this happened. I feel like I failed in life. I didn't reveal to them that I feel sorry that I didn't meet to their expectation because I am ashamed of myself. So ashamed. I failed them as a daughter.

             For now, all I can do is to prove to them that they are wrong. I will fix this. I'll prove them wrong. Mark my words.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Bucket's List

So here we go. I've been putting this on for awhile now. But this time I want to put it in action. I found that when you have a goal in life, you wouldn't want to ditch that goal over something petty in life. I want to make my life meaningful. I want to base my life by paving my road to my goals. I want to feel satisfied when one of my goals is accomplished.

           So, here we go.

My Bucket's List

1. Touching real snow with my bare hands.
2. Travel to Britain. (Especially the countryside)
3. Own my own library. (With thousands of my favourite books)
4. Write a book and get it published.
5. Play Skyrim. (Okay, I really want to play this game so much!)

          That is all that I can think at the moment. I don't think the list will change anytime sooner. So, there you go. Will talk more later.